I had the lovliest time spending Rosh Hashanah with a few of my housemates at Yael's home. I realize what a comfort it is to be mothered. As independent as I consider myself and as much autonomy I have increasingly demanded from my parents, sometimes it's nice to give up and admit that I'm still a little kid who wants to come home, hug a conveniently located woman with a charmingly aged face, sigh, and then be given a cookie. This wasn't exactly my experience of the weekend, but it hit the mark nonetheless.
Yael's family lives about an hour outside the city. Our drive down was closer to 2 hours and peppered with stress-filled snaps about driving capabilities and the traffic. But we made it. Sort of. We arrived at services 1.5 hours late, so we were entertained only by the concluding melodies of the very operatic cantor. After, Yael's mom hurried us out (as quickly as one is able to be hurried out of a synagogue on Friday night) pressing that we were all so hungry!
We were treated that night, the following morning (thanks to our gracious hostess Yael!) and Saturday evening to a series of delectable dishes. Challah, salads, soups, fishes, meats, and desserts paraded past hands and across the table. Oh contentment. We decided to drive back Saturday night and miraculously made it home in only an hour.
Sunday, the lovely ladies at the other house invited us all over for yet another R.H. meal filled with sweet honeyed goodness. Again, everything was spectacularly presented and a treat for the mouth. Special thanks go out to whomever divined that a goat cheese and beet salad would be the best thing in the world. It was.
We walked, partially in the rain, to the marina for Tashlich. Becca V-H (to distinguish between the 3 Beccas in the program) had made what would have otherwise been 3 delicious and substantive challah loaves. Unfortuantely, the yeast was feeling particularly frisky and the dough fermented. Fortunately, this proffered the perfect bread to symbolically harbor our sins. We created a war zone between the ducks and geese, although I anticipate that the fermentation got them drunk enough to forget it all and become placid cohabitants of Montrose beach yet again.
Most of my thoughts while tossing the ladened bread into the water regarded my problems with judging others. I feel like I've been a pretty good girl--others may feel free to disagree--over the course of this past year. What I know is an issue that hampers how I act towards others is letting preconceived notions based on little merit weigh so heavily. I tend to make assumptions about who people are or where they came from or what their goals and values and morals are based on few encounters with those issues at hand. I think it's valuable that this year my work is to talk to people. I'm not just chatting about trivialities with those I run into, but I need to find out who people are, where they came from and what their goals, values, and morals are. I'm eager to let this year of intentional meetings evolve my current framework for getting to know others. I think it will be a great learning experience and I hope next fall, if I'm lucky enough to be near a body of water, I will not be throwing away judgmental behaviors but something else...there will always be something else.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Minneapolis is still the best because...
I am tired, slightly hungover, and a bit crabby, so I thought it would be the perfect time to write down some of the utterly stupid things about the city that I otherwise thoroughly enjoy. This will expand over time I imagine.
1. There is no logic to the timing of the walk/don't walk signs on stoplights in relation to when the actual light turns yellow or red. Rather, some lights still afford me enough time to cross after blinking. Others place me in the middle of the intersection if I start even after the walk has just turned to don't walk. This is stupid and dangerous.
2. There is no lapse time between when one light turns red and when the perpendicular avenue's light turns green. This is dangerous for walking (see point 1). This also is illogical because people come barreling through red lights when your lane has been green for a good 3 seconds. This is stupid and dangerous as well.
3. There are diagonal streets running through the city that create what can only be described as a clusterfuck of lanes at points where they intersect with nice, normal E/W and N/S streets. It is confusing to decide which light is yours and people can be turning left one of three different ways at the same time that another lane is going straight. How does this madness occur? Because these intersections are under the jurisdiction of the previously scorned stoplights. This is stupid and absolutely terrifying to witness and survive while on bicycle.
4. The street signs identifying diagonal intersections are useless and confusing. When one road cuts diagonally through the intersection, two of the three streets will have signs on them with labels of two streets each. Did what I write make sense? Probably not. It doesn't in real life either. So lets say I'm heading south on Damen Ave and there is an E/W intersection with Irving Park Rd and Lincoln Ave cuts through diagonally. The signs marking Lincoln Ave will read "Lincoln Ave" (as it should) but then immediately below (or above) in identical print it will also read "Irving Park Rd". And on the Irving Park street sign, it will also list Lincoln Ave even though that street is not in fact Lincoln Ave. It is Irving Park. It should only read Irving Park. Lincoln Ave should only be identified by it's own name and not the names of the streets immediately surrounding it. This is not only stupid but completely idiotic and I intentionally avoid making turns at diagonal intersections because of this. So I guess it's inconvenient too.
More to come...
5. After a particularly frustrating afternoon making my way through downtown, I have another complaint. There is no continuity of the bikepath into the downtown Chicago area. I understand that Minneapolis is no better, but at least we don't have three layers of streets stacked on top of each other. Finding your way to a nearby bike-safe route is so involved that I need to consider where I am in terms of up/down in addition to the usual (and may I add sane and normal) side-to-side and back/forth directions. I went up and down a total of five levels before I ended up moving on the right streets to get me to the right place where I could go back down another street level to the bikepath by the lake. Also, none of this is designated on the $%*#ing bike path maps. This is stupid.
1. There is no logic to the timing of the walk/don't walk signs on stoplights in relation to when the actual light turns yellow or red. Rather, some lights still afford me enough time to cross after blinking. Others place me in the middle of the intersection if I start even after the walk has just turned to don't walk. This is stupid and dangerous.
2. There is no lapse time between when one light turns red and when the perpendicular avenue's light turns green. This is dangerous for walking (see point 1). This also is illogical because people come barreling through red lights when your lane has been green for a good 3 seconds. This is stupid and dangerous as well.
3. There are diagonal streets running through the city that create what can only be described as a clusterfuck of lanes at points where they intersect with nice, normal E/W and N/S streets. It is confusing to decide which light is yours and people can be turning left one of three different ways at the same time that another lane is going straight. How does this madness occur? Because these intersections are under the jurisdiction of the previously scorned stoplights. This is stupid and absolutely terrifying to witness and survive while on bicycle.
4. The street signs identifying diagonal intersections are useless and confusing. When one road cuts diagonally through the intersection, two of the three streets will have signs on them with labels of two streets each. Did what I write make sense? Probably not. It doesn't in real life either. So lets say I'm heading south on Damen Ave and there is an E/W intersection with Irving Park Rd and Lincoln Ave cuts through diagonally. The signs marking Lincoln Ave will read "Lincoln Ave" (as it should) but then immediately below (or above) in identical print it will also read "Irving Park Rd". And on the Irving Park street sign, it will also list Lincoln Ave even though that street is not in fact Lincoln Ave. It is Irving Park. It should only read Irving Park. Lincoln Ave should only be identified by it's own name and not the names of the streets immediately surrounding it. This is not only stupid but completely idiotic and I intentionally avoid making turns at diagonal intersections because of this. So I guess it's inconvenient too.
More to come...
5. After a particularly frustrating afternoon making my way through downtown, I have another complaint. There is no continuity of the bikepath into the downtown Chicago area. I understand that Minneapolis is no better, but at least we don't have three layers of streets stacked on top of each other. Finding your way to a nearby bike-safe route is so involved that I need to consider where I am in terms of up/down in addition to the usual (and may I add sane and normal) side-to-side and back/forth directions. I went up and down a total of five levels before I ended up moving on the right streets to get me to the right place where I could go back down another street level to the bikepath by the lake. Also, none of this is designated on the $%*#ing bike path maps. This is stupid.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Working girl
I am up at the wee hour of 10pm typing away as quietly as possible because my darling roommate is fast asleep. Hopefully I will be soon too. I guess we'll both see at the end of this. This was day 3 of my organizing experience and I don't think I've been so ready to go to bed so early as I have this week. I will attempt to rehash the past few days, but it's blurred past (although at the time, occasionally excruciatingly slow<--ooh! cruciatus curse comes from excruciating; I'm a geek...)
Tuesday
I met Mary and Hannah, the two lovely organizers that LAC currently employs. Hannah held my position as AVODAH organizer up until the beginning of August, but was offered a temporary staff position once the program ended. She asked me a series of increasingly personal questions which resulted in the determination that I am sleeping in her old bed (in her old room) which was also the old bed (and room) of the AVODAH organizer the year before Hannah. I think we must have some well developed organizer 6th sense to scout out the best rooms in the house. I'm visiting Hannah's new home tomorrow so I'll have to test my supernatural abilities then.
More relevantly, my day started with a very brief encounter with Jennifer, my boss. She had a meeting half an hour later, so that was barely enough time to hand me a stack of papers to read and send me over to uncover my desk. I was fortunate enough to have a nasty grime covering the top of my desk as well as a precipitously dangling lightbulb hanging out of my lamp. This offered me the opportunity to take out much of my anxiety and fear of the new day on the surface of the desk. It is now spotless. I fixed my lamp too which made me feel rather clever, although I think it was simpler than I'd like to admit. I now am the proud owner...renter, I guess...of a large desk in front of two long narrow windows facing the el. I quickly learned how to hold a phone conversation as if a large metro train is not rumbling past fewer than 15 feet from my seat.
So I read about LAC and the past two newsletters (which I get to design next week!) and who the members are and what the issues are that we are currently employed to change. And then Mary and Hannah took me to lunch at a yummy Thai restaurant down the block. It was a very gracious welcoming and I was relieved to find both of them so personable...which makes sense when their jobs entail interacting with people all day.
After lunch I made some phone calls to remind members of an upcoming meeting. Then there was more reading to do...this time the particulars of organizing. And then around 5:30 when I was developing a headache it was time for Hannah and me to bike to a nearby neighborhood association for a health care coalition meeting. The meeting was a blur sans the Giordano's pizza. Then, after a 5.5 mile bike ride home, I arrived at 9pm...my first 11.5 hour workday.
Oh dear, this is long and it's getting late, so I'll hurry it up for both of our sakes.
Wednesday
I met Linda and Jim, two more employees at the office. Linda spent much of the morning setting up my phone and e-mail. I now am a legitimate and contactable employee and feel significantly more like a grownup. We had our first staff meeting, and remarkably I was able to contribute little parcels of what I had remembered from the healthcare coalition meeting the night before. The rest of the day was spent alternately putzing around and reading more about LACs work and how to effectively organize.
Thursday
Today was another long day. Jennifer asked me to come in at 9 so I could listen in on a meeting she was having over environmental justice (one of our 4 main issues). When I arrived at the office, it turned out that the meeting had been canceled, so I was left with another glorious hour to fill with self-instigated projects. I read more. I called the board members to remind them of other meetings. I called board members to set up relational meetings with me. I set up my calendar because listing dates haphazardly in my notebook was not cutting it. I realized that I had overlapped appointments. I called back board members to cancel said overlapping appointments. Then, my to do list ended. So I updated my facebook information. I checked up on my feministing.org site (generally fantastic). I created unnecessary spreadsheets of contact information we already have just so I could have it immediately and have something to work on and look at. I am bored.
Hannah and Mary have both explained to me that boredom is a normal and necessary part of initial organizing. If you are a true and focused organizer, you are creating relationships with people. When you have trusting relationships, you build coalitions between like-minded people and groups who might otherwise not meet. If you know no one, this is difficult to achieve. So, I am slowly, oh-so-slowly building my menagerie of folks and friends and other people who are good to meet and know. I made a number of appointments and I am excited to have all these 1 to 1s (as they are called in organizer jargon)...but they are next week. And next week is not now and now I am bored. So I was thrilled when 6:30 rolled around and it was time for Mary and me to meet up with Jennifer and Hannah and about 20 other local organization members for the bimonthly Community Council meeting.
It was like most meetings. Some people talk frequently and to excess. This is probably because they like the sound of their voice and how their ideas are clearly articulated better (and are inherently better) than everyone else. Oh well. I learned a great deal about who was working specifically on which issues (I should probably mention what they are: Access to healthcare, affordable housing, youth homelessness, and environmental justice). I was also glad to put a face to so many names I had heard at the office. And again, I came home around 9.
I am exhausted but slightly less overwhelmed than yesterday. I no longer am clawing at the door so I can escape and run all the way home. I anticipate that some parts of the job will get easier--I won't feel bored and I'll be a productive member of this little society. But I will get busier and busier and I'm going to have to learn when to say enough. Right now I'm at enou, so I think I'm still good.
Tuesday
I met Mary and Hannah, the two lovely organizers that LAC currently employs. Hannah held my position as AVODAH organizer up until the beginning of August, but was offered a temporary staff position once the program ended. She asked me a series of increasingly personal questions which resulted in the determination that I am sleeping in her old bed (in her old room) which was also the old bed (and room) of the AVODAH organizer the year before Hannah. I think we must have some well developed organizer 6th sense to scout out the best rooms in the house. I'm visiting Hannah's new home tomorrow so I'll have to test my supernatural abilities then.
More relevantly, my day started with a very brief encounter with Jennifer, my boss. She had a meeting half an hour later, so that was barely enough time to hand me a stack of papers to read and send me over to uncover my desk. I was fortunate enough to have a nasty grime covering the top of my desk as well as a precipitously dangling lightbulb hanging out of my lamp. This offered me the opportunity to take out much of my anxiety and fear of the new day on the surface of the desk. It is now spotless. I fixed my lamp too which made me feel rather clever, although I think it was simpler than I'd like to admit. I now am the proud owner...renter, I guess...of a large desk in front of two long narrow windows facing the el. I quickly learned how to hold a phone conversation as if a large metro train is not rumbling past fewer than 15 feet from my seat.
So I read about LAC and the past two newsletters (which I get to design next week!) and who the members are and what the issues are that we are currently employed to change. And then Mary and Hannah took me to lunch at a yummy Thai restaurant down the block. It was a very gracious welcoming and I was relieved to find both of them so personable...which makes sense when their jobs entail interacting with people all day.
After lunch I made some phone calls to remind members of an upcoming meeting. Then there was more reading to do...this time the particulars of organizing. And then around 5:30 when I was developing a headache it was time for Hannah and me to bike to a nearby neighborhood association for a health care coalition meeting. The meeting was a blur sans the Giordano's pizza. Then, after a 5.5 mile bike ride home, I arrived at 9pm...my first 11.5 hour workday.
Oh dear, this is long and it's getting late, so I'll hurry it up for both of our sakes.
Wednesday
I met Linda and Jim, two more employees at the office. Linda spent much of the morning setting up my phone and e-mail. I now am a legitimate and contactable employee and feel significantly more like a grownup. We had our first staff meeting, and remarkably I was able to contribute little parcels of what I had remembered from the healthcare coalition meeting the night before. The rest of the day was spent alternately putzing around and reading more about LACs work and how to effectively organize.
Thursday
Today was another long day. Jennifer asked me to come in at 9 so I could listen in on a meeting she was having over environmental justice (one of our 4 main issues). When I arrived at the office, it turned out that the meeting had been canceled, so I was left with another glorious hour to fill with self-instigated projects. I read more. I called the board members to remind them of other meetings. I called board members to set up relational meetings with me. I set up my calendar because listing dates haphazardly in my notebook was not cutting it. I realized that I had overlapped appointments. I called back board members to cancel said overlapping appointments. Then, my to do list ended. So I updated my facebook information. I checked up on my feministing.org site (generally fantastic). I created unnecessary spreadsheets of contact information we already have just so I could have it immediately and have something to work on and look at. I am bored.
Hannah and Mary have both explained to me that boredom is a normal and necessary part of initial organizing. If you are a true and focused organizer, you are creating relationships with people. When you have trusting relationships, you build coalitions between like-minded people and groups who might otherwise not meet. If you know no one, this is difficult to achieve. So, I am slowly, oh-so-slowly building my menagerie of folks and friends and other people who are good to meet and know. I made a number of appointments and I am excited to have all these 1 to 1s (as they are called in organizer jargon)...but they are next week. And next week is not now and now I am bored. So I was thrilled when 6:30 rolled around and it was time for Mary and me to meet up with Jennifer and Hannah and about 20 other local organization members for the bimonthly Community Council meeting.
It was like most meetings. Some people talk frequently and to excess. This is probably because they like the sound of their voice and how their ideas are clearly articulated better (and are inherently better) than everyone else. Oh well. I learned a great deal about who was working specifically on which issues (I should probably mention what they are: Access to healthcare, affordable housing, youth homelessness, and environmental justice). I was also glad to put a face to so many names I had heard at the office. And again, I came home around 9.
I am exhausted but slightly less overwhelmed than yesterday. I no longer am clawing at the door so I can escape and run all the way home. I anticipate that some parts of the job will get easier--I won't feel bored and I'll be a productive member of this little society. But I will get busier and busier and I'm going to have to learn when to say enough. Right now I'm at enou, so I think I'm still good.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The happiest thing I found today!
Monday. Usually so formidable, but today relaxed and gorgeous and the new highlight of my 8 days here. We had nothing scheduled. I am finally my own person to control my own time until...tomorrow.
So far, I checked out the gym down the street. I took the Rock-Hard Abs class with Joseph, the flamboyantly gregarious Adonis of an instructor. He blasted Lady Gaga from the stereo as he encouraged me to "pump those knees up higher, darling!" It was an effective motivator along with the realization that a summer of Julianna's better-than-sex-cake and buttercream frosted cupcakes had annihilated any memories of pilates and yoga fitness. I had intended to stay for "hot bods" toning class, but immediately realized I was not prepared to have my ass kicked two hours in a row. I'm off for a long bike ride around the lake, which will hopefully complement the leisurely feel of my day.
Now on to the happiest thing I found: http://chicago.about.com/od/artsculture/a/ChicagoFreeDays.htm
Free days at nearly every museum in the city! I can afford more activities than I thought and I am eager to expand my aesthetic and cultural experiences.
I have to go grocery shopping this afternoon and I've been trying to think about what cost-effective, healthy foods I might want to make for myself. Any suggestions are welcome. In light of this consideration, I'm including a yummy recipe we cooked up for Havdallah dinner on Saturday evening:
Spiced Zucchini Couscous (feeds 20+, so adjust accordingly)
5 cups couscous (which I think means vajayjay in Hebrew)
5 zucchini (perhaps consider mixing it up with some yellow squash, eggplant, or even spinach)
1-2 pints cherry tomatoes
1 package feta cheese
these are all estimates...
2 tsp salt
2 tsp white pepper
2-3 tsp cumin
1 tbsp turmeric
1 tsp onion powder (we didn't have it, but garlic powder might have been better)
1/2 tbsp ginger
Boil 5 cups of water (fyi: couscous is cooked with an equal proportion of water) add a splash or two of olive oil. Once the water is boiling, add the couscous, stir thoroughly, and remove from heat. Let it sit for 10 minutes then fluff with a fork and set aside.
Slice the zucchini into fourths lengthwise and then cut into smaller pieces (or cut rounds which you then quarter, but I think the first way is easier). Put it into a large frying pan with 2 tbsp of oil and a quarter cup of water. Be careful! The oil water mixture might splash when adding the zucchini (I have dainty droplet burns on my arms now). Stir occasionally. When it starts to shrink, add 1 tsp of the salt and a pinch of the pepper. Once it's pretty wilted and soft, remove from heat and add to the couscous.
Slice up the cherry tomatoes into reasonably sized pieces (half or thirds) and add to the couscous.
Add the remaining spices. Most should be done to taste. When in doubt, add garlic and ginger--you will rarely be disappointed. Crumble in 3/4 the package of cheese and stir around so it gets a little softer and melty. See if you need any more salt, although the cheese should bring enough. Before serving, add the remaining cheese.
This took maybe 30 minutes for all the steps and some indecision along the way. Enjoy!
So far, I checked out the gym down the street. I took the Rock-Hard Abs class with Joseph, the flamboyantly gregarious Adonis of an instructor. He blasted Lady Gaga from the stereo as he encouraged me to "pump those knees up higher, darling!" It was an effective motivator along with the realization that a summer of Julianna's better-than-sex-cake and buttercream frosted cupcakes had annihilated any memories of pilates and yoga fitness. I had intended to stay for "hot bods" toning class, but immediately realized I was not prepared to have my ass kicked two hours in a row. I'm off for a long bike ride around the lake, which will hopefully complement the leisurely feel of my day.
Now on to the happiest thing I found: http://chicago.about.com/od/artsculture/a/ChicagoFreeDays.htm
Free days at nearly every museum in the city! I can afford more activities than I thought and I am eager to expand my aesthetic and cultural experiences.
I have to go grocery shopping this afternoon and I've been trying to think about what cost-effective, healthy foods I might want to make for myself. Any suggestions are welcome. In light of this consideration, I'm including a yummy recipe we cooked up for Havdallah dinner on Saturday evening:
Spiced Zucchini Couscous (feeds 20+, so adjust accordingly)
5 cups couscous (which I think means vajayjay in Hebrew)
5 zucchini (perhaps consider mixing it up with some yellow squash, eggplant, or even spinach)
1-2 pints cherry tomatoes
1 package feta cheese
these are all estimates...
2 tsp salt
2 tsp white pepper
2-3 tsp cumin
1 tbsp turmeric
1 tsp onion powder (we didn't have it, but garlic powder might have been better)
1/2 tbsp ginger
Boil 5 cups of water (fyi: couscous is cooked with an equal proportion of water) add a splash or two of olive oil. Once the water is boiling, add the couscous, stir thoroughly, and remove from heat. Let it sit for 10 minutes then fluff with a fork and set aside.
Slice the zucchini into fourths lengthwise and then cut into smaller pieces (or cut rounds which you then quarter, but I think the first way is easier). Put it into a large frying pan with 2 tbsp of oil and a quarter cup of water. Be careful! The oil water mixture might splash when adding the zucchini (I have dainty droplet burns on my arms now). Stir occasionally. When it starts to shrink, add 1 tsp of the salt and a pinch of the pepper. Once it's pretty wilted and soft, remove from heat and add to the couscous.
Slice up the cherry tomatoes into reasonably sized pieces (half or thirds) and add to the couscous.
Add the remaining spices. Most should be done to taste. When in doubt, add garlic and ginger--you will rarely be disappointed. Crumble in 3/4 the package of cheese and stir around so it gets a little softer and melty. See if you need any more salt, although the cheese should bring enough. Before serving, add the remaining cheese.
This took maybe 30 minutes for all the steps and some indecision along the way. Enjoy!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Moving, Meeting others, and Orienting
Moving Anticipating the move to Chicago was the most difficult aspect of the actual transition. Similar to starting school or meeting my freshman roommate for the first time or moving to a new city for an abroad program, this recent transition was a simultaneous occurrence of all. I felt stressed about the prospect of dividing my things into "to go" and "store" piles. I felt stressed about the notion of packing it all up, loading the car, driving...driving...driving (I hate car trips!), and unpacking. I felt stressed about meeting 14 other people who I knew little to nothing about--save facebook stalking. Most significantly, I felt sad, worried, and anxious to leave my friends, family, and roommates behind.
But like many major transitions in my life, the anticipation--with all of its "what ifs"--was far worse than the move itself. My family was able to spend a couple of nights in the city allowing me to acclimate before being abandoned on the doorstep of my new home. If I was to be left without most of my major supporting figures, at least I should know where a few good restaurants were. My goodbyes were tearful. I cried when I shared my last kisses. I cried when I shared my last sleepover with Julianna. I cried when I shared my last breakfast...also with Mama J. I think important to those acts, is that they moistened my face not as lasts (I fully intend to kiss/sleepover/eat with the same people), but that I dreaded the length of time I would endure before I was able to again share them. Relationships with others are vital to my well-being and being without them...would not be well.
Meeting Others
Fortunately, very fortunately, my roommate is lovely and kind and open. My housemates are funny and adventurous and agreeable. My program participants are unassuming and intelligent and well-intentioned. I am surrounded again by a supportive group that desires not only to cohabit, but also to honestly and actively create a household and community that functions fluidly. I suppose I needn't have worried so much as that was a main component of the avodah program. As a security, I anticipate the worst so that I can be delighted when the best occurs. I have been delighted.
Orienting
This week was spent in orientation. I have communicated so many of my desires, practices, goals, experiences, habits, and beliefs that I now feel as a sum of my disclosed parts. I am, in short, a tzedek oriented, justice achieving, workshop facilitator who sleeps lightly, does not smoke, and eats primarily vegetarian while believing vaguely in the intentions of rabbinical law (or suggestions). For the extensive intentional conversations the groups has engaged in, I was still a two dimensional component. Last night during our oneg, we initiated our first unstructured divulge...or purging of personal information. I now know whose favorite country is Italy, who has thrown up from drinking too much, and most importantly who owns a vibrator. We are developing intimacy and friendships and I look forward to learning the insignificant details of everyone that usually end up shaping our personalities so sharply.
I am exhausted from the constant barrage of information. We have been alternately listening and talking about everything that might be relevant in the upcoming week. I met my supervisor (she's fantastic). I figured out how kosher we want to keep our communal kitchen (not very). I learned about racial justice (it's appallingly bad in Chicago). It's been important, but tiring. This entire process has been important but tiring and I anticipate the upcoming year will be exactly the same.
I am excited for what's to come and I am relieved that the largest of my transitions this year is over. I couldn't have asked for a better community to come into, and I am relieved that my negative expectations have not been realized. I miss Minneapolis and the people I love there, but I have no regrets of my decision to explore my independence further this year.
But like many major transitions in my life, the anticipation--with all of its "what ifs"--was far worse than the move itself. My family was able to spend a couple of nights in the city allowing me to acclimate before being abandoned on the doorstep of my new home. If I was to be left without most of my major supporting figures, at least I should know where a few good restaurants were. My goodbyes were tearful. I cried when I shared my last kisses. I cried when I shared my last sleepover with Julianna. I cried when I shared my last breakfast...also with Mama J. I think important to those acts, is that they moistened my face not as lasts (I fully intend to kiss/sleepover/eat with the same people), but that I dreaded the length of time I would endure before I was able to again share them. Relationships with others are vital to my well-being and being without them...would not be well.
Meeting Others
Fortunately, very fortunately, my roommate is lovely and kind and open. My housemates are funny and adventurous and agreeable. My program participants are unassuming and intelligent and well-intentioned. I am surrounded again by a supportive group that desires not only to cohabit, but also to honestly and actively create a household and community that functions fluidly. I suppose I needn't have worried so much as that was a main component of the avodah program. As a security, I anticipate the worst so that I can be delighted when the best occurs. I have been delighted.
Orienting
This week was spent in orientation. I have communicated so many of my desires, practices, goals, experiences, habits, and beliefs that I now feel as a sum of my disclosed parts. I am, in short, a tzedek oriented, justice achieving, workshop facilitator who sleeps lightly, does not smoke, and eats primarily vegetarian while believing vaguely in the intentions of rabbinical law (or suggestions). For the extensive intentional conversations the groups has engaged in, I was still a two dimensional component. Last night during our oneg, we initiated our first unstructured divulge...or purging of personal information. I now know whose favorite country is Italy, who has thrown up from drinking too much, and most importantly who owns a vibrator. We are developing intimacy and friendships and I look forward to learning the insignificant details of everyone that usually end up shaping our personalities so sharply.
I am exhausted from the constant barrage of information. We have been alternately listening and talking about everything that might be relevant in the upcoming week. I met my supervisor (she's fantastic). I figured out how kosher we want to keep our communal kitchen (not very). I learned about racial justice (it's appallingly bad in Chicago). It's been important, but tiring. This entire process has been important but tiring and I anticipate the upcoming year will be exactly the same.
I am excited for what's to come and I am relieved that the largest of my transitions this year is over. I couldn't have asked for a better community to come into, and I am relieved that my negative expectations have not been realized. I miss Minneapolis and the people I love there, but I have no regrets of my decision to explore my independence further this year.
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